Sadly, that Private Island is Still for Sale

We have to start thinking bigger.

It’s been a few news cycles ago, but you’ll recall the headlines the MegaMillions lottery made when the jackpot topped out at $1.28 billion.

I’ll admit Kim and I bought some tickets, because we just wanted to be included.

Before you hear it on the street, I can confirm we somehow did not manage to beat the 307 million-to-1 odds.

But my point today isn’t about that.

It’s about our perception of the amount of money that is.

The jackpot was more than a billion dollars. That’s billion with a capital B.

The point-two-eight afterthought was a mere $280 million.

You don’t need me to tell you a billion is 1,000 million.

Imagine an armored car with $1 million in it.

Now imagine 1,000 of those cars lined up bumper to bumper.

Its’ really not even imaginable. Tennessee only has nine billionaires.

And if someone had become the tenth, it seems he or she would have no idea how much fun they could have.

I follow a Facebook account which shall remain nameless. But the account asked what you would do if you won the jackpot.

Most of the answers were fairly disappointing.

Lots of people said they would buy a house.

Bill Gates’ house is worth $125 million, which is roughly 10 percent of the jackpot.

I did research on how much a private island would cost — for the purposes of this column, of course — not because I thought I was going to win.

Nothing I could find even got close to costing a billion.

A couple of people said they would go into the food service business.

So you’re a billionaire, and your reward is creating yourself a new job where you have to worry about bad Yelp reviews.

Of course, several took the sarcasm route.

One guy said he would buy a two-story doublewide with a spiral staircase so people would know he had money.

One of my favorites was the person who said they would supersize their McDonald’s meal.

A few people only wished for a full tank of gas.

Someone commented they would invest in a company that makes surveillance cameras to catch people who shoplift at Walmart.

Another wanted to move to Montana.

Good grief, let’s buy Montana.

Some said they would deposit their check then go to work, instead of buying the company they work for and firing all the people they don’t like.

One person said they would buy 100 acres and put up a 10-foot electric fence.

Near Waco, maybe?

Lots commented they would buy a new truck. I haven’t been truck shopping lately, but I believe those folks could probably add on the optional towing package.

Or they could buy 3.824 million shares of Ford stock instead.

My poor little adding machine now thinks we’re rich. I don’t know how I’m going to break the news.

Of course, lots of people said they would donate to charity, house the homeless and rescue stray animals, which is obviously admirable.

But you can build a football field-sized kennel and still have enough money left over to buy a private island.

I’m not sure what I would’ve done, but I don’t hate that private island idea.