Real-life Mysteries Rarely Get Solved

I like a good mystery.

It’s fun to watch a show on TV or read something and try to figure out the solution before it’s actually revealed.

You know how it goes. Throughout most of the story, there’s the obvious suspect, who never ends up being the perpetrator. Usually, the mystery weaves in and out; and when they rip the mask off Scooby Doo style, the person underneath is a complete surprise.

But that’s fiction. Mysteries in real life don’t necessarily follow this formula. And in my experience, real-life mysteries hardly ever get solved.

When I was a teenager, my mother’s credit card disappeared once. 

She didn’t even carry the card. She only used it to book trips when she traveled.

Mama was the most organized person I have ever known. And that’s what made this situation even more mysterious.

We looked high and low. We went through the garbage. Before it was all said and done, we had concocted a scheme where someone broke in and stole it.

Although it was a stretch, we even came up with a couple of suspects.

Years later, the card turned up inside a folder that had road maps in it which was in a bookcase in the den.

Of course, we ruled out the break-in, but we never figured out how the card got up there.

When my office and Kim’s studio were in their previous location, the ring I bought her for our 10-year anniversary disappeared from her desk one day.

The search became furiously intense right off the bat.

Before the end of the first day, I climbed inside the dumpster to retrieve our garbage bag.

That was my first dumpster dive.

I hope it is my last.

My family has always been big about blaming the trash when something disappeared.

One year to the day after it was lost, as Kim was cleaning out a tote bag that she carried back and forth to work every single day, she found the ring inside.

We never figured out how it got in there.

Of course, you know these anecdotes are leading up to the mystery we have going on right now.

Last week, I was foraging the refrigerator looking for something to grab on the way out the door.

I noticed a package of American cheese in the butter compartment in the door. 

This is unusual for two reasons.

First, we don’t store cheese in the butter compartment.

Second, we don’t buy American cheese.

Don’t email me. We just like cheddar better.

Here’s where this gets even more mysterious.

Do you remember price tags?

This pack of cheese had an orange price tag stuck to it.

I go to two convenience stores depending on whether I’m going to work or home from work.

Neither one uses price tags. Yes, I checked both just to make sure.

The way I see it, one of two things happened.

Either someone came into our house and planted an open pack of American cheese in the butter compartment of our refrigerator. Or, I bought it, had a slice, stuck it in the fridge where I never would stick it and have no recollection whatsoever of it.

I have no idea which is worse.