Gambling Truly is Investing For Dummies

I have rarely ever gambled.

Once in a blue moon — when I think the world owes me a favor — I will buy a lottery ticket.

If I recall correctly, I’ve been to a casino five times.

Each time, I gave myself a meager budget because when you’re in Rome, you do what the Romans do.

One of those casino visits was a work trip to Reno, Nev. Work trips to anywhere in Nevada don’t include much work. But don’t tell your boss that.

After the last night in Reno I had tripled my gambling allowance. I was up $60.

Yes, I’m a high roller.

Of course, in Nevada slot machines are everywhere, including the airport. And that’s where I lost $58.50 of my $60 profit while waiting on my flight.

I’m glad we weren’t delayed.

Before the NCAA men’s basketball tournament started, I entered one of those contests where you pick each game before the tournament starts.

This isn’t gambling, because no money is involved. But it’s still a game of chance.

After the first day of March Madness, I was in 46th place out of lots and lots of entrants. I thought that was pretty good.

When day two concluded, I had climbed up to 15th.

After Tennessee laid its annual NCAA tournament egg on Saturday, I fell to 96th.

As of right now, I’m sitting pretty in place 144.

I’m glad it’s not real gambling.

***

I didn’t know this, but since 2019 the US National Highway Traffic Administration has required electric vehicles to make noise so people can hear them coming.

It’s a great idea. But just like everything the government touches, even something as simple sounding as this has a ridiculous aspect to it.

The requirement is that the cars must make a noise until they reach 18.6 m.p.h.

Eighteen point six.

I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall when a bunch of government engineers were debating that one.

“Okay, call it in the air, McGillicuddy. Heads, it’s 18.6; tails, it’s 19.1.”

Regardless of that quirk, like I said, I’m all in favor of it. The Mighty Prius is pre-2019, and if I wanted to sneak up on someone, I would have no trouble doing it. Of course, the gasoline engine would probably kick in just about the time I was closing in on my prey.

It sounds like I’ve been thinking about that, but I haven’t.

From what I read, carmakers create artificial noise for their cars. For instance, BMW worked with a music composer to come up with their signature sound.

I think the consumer should get to customize their own sound. How much fun would that be?

You could make it sound like an ice cream truck and drive children crazy.

I would make mine sound the way my bike sounded when I clothes-pinned a baseball card so the spokes of the front wheel would hit it.

Actually, using part of a pimento cheese container lid was far superior to a baseball card.

Here’s another idea. If your ride ever got stolen, you could whip out the app on your phone and make it say, “Call the police. I have been stolen.”

Of course, most car thieves are probably going to be driving at least 18.7 m.p.h., so it wouldn’t matter.