Frosty Lives; and Nothing Makes Me Happier

Were it not for a couple of notable exceptions, this year’s run-up to Christmas looks pretty much the same as it usually does.

Everything starts way too early. Mariah still doesn’t want anything for Christmas but you. The December weather is a schizophrenic mix of hot and cold and rain and wind.

But I have noticed two exceptions this year — one good and the other, not so much.

Let’s start with the good news.

It is Dec. 6, and I have only seen one car wearing reindeer antlers and a red nose stuck to the grill.

I count them every year, and based on years past, we may be in the clear unless we have a spike.

Let’s keep this streak going, boys and girls. I think we can do it. If you’re ever tempted to buy a set, just drop that $19.95 in the Salvation Army kettle when you’re headed into the store.

Now let’s get to the bad news.

Inflatable outdoor decorations are becoming more popular, and they’re now larger than ever.

I saw a Santa Claus the other day that was higher than the eve of a two-story house. I don’t know about you, but that would seemingly traumatize a child.

It’s like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade float broke loose and landed in the yard.

I’ve never been a huge fan of inflatables, and I’ll tell you why.

When they’re flat on the ground, the remind me of the classic “Frosty the Snowman” TV special.

That’s because nearly my entire life, I thought the show ended with Frosty dying a watery death.

As I was doing a little research on the show, I put on my big boy pants and made myself read the plot summary.

Let’s take a trip with the Ghost of Christmas Past back to my childhood home, Dec. 7, 1969.

I would turn 6 in a few days.

I am watching the debut of Frosty on the bulky black and white Zenith TV that sat on four legs in our den.

When it was over, I was horrified that it ended with the little girl crying over a puddle of water, a couple of lumps of coal and a button.

That’s right. For more than five decades, I thought that’s the way it ended.

Are you kidding me?

How did I get this so wrong?

I am sure this is not news to you, but while Frosty did melt after the wicked magician Professor Hinkle locked him and Karen in the greenhouse, Hocus Pocus the rabbit fetched Santa Claus to bring him back to life.

And at the end, Frosty leads the children in a parade as the credits roll.

Dang. I missed the ending of “Frosty the Snowman” when I was 5, and every Christmas since I have avoided ever watching it again.

I’m pretty sure that right now, if I had the ability to ask either of my parents one question, it would be how this managed to happen.

I guess that means I have to rethink the way I feel about inflatable outdoor decorations.

But I can still dislike car antlers, because they remind me of how Rudolph never got off the Island of Misfit Toys and didn’t get to lead Santa’s sleigh.