Buckle Up, Blackberry Winter is on its Way

By the time you read this, you will likely be enjoying temperatures in the 80s — the way it’s supposed to be in spring.

But today I’m freezing, and It’s almost May.

Yesterday was cold and rainy, like winter.

Today is cold and sunny, like winter.

I knew this cold snap — I hope it’s a snap — has one of those folksy seasonal names that goes back to the days when lots more people were farmers.

I went to the Tennessee Historical Society’s website to do a little research.

From what I understand, we are currently suffering through dogwood winter, which coincides with dogwood trees blooming in mid- to late April.

This shouldn’t be confused with blackberry winter, which is stricken upon us in early to mid-May while the blackberries are in bloom.

It’s not something I’m looking forward to.

According to the website, we have several of these so-called little winters. We have locust winter, redbud winter, whippoorwill winter and my personal favorite, cotton britches winter.

Cotton britches winter happens in “late may or early June, when the linsey-woolsey (linen and wool) pants worn in cold weather were put away and farmers changed to the light cotton pants of summer.”

I have been around rural people all my life. And I guess that makes me pretty much a rural person myself.

And over my lifetime I’ve seen old timers almost come to blows over which little season we were in. So don’t email me and say we’re in one of those other seasons or one that I didn’t mention.

I’m merely quoting the website.

But let’s make up some more.

This year, most of are enjoying “vaccine spring” — which ’tis another season to be jolly, because for me, it’s going to lead to “Mexican restaurant summer.”

Mexican restaurant summer happens the first time I go back to a restaurant with a lot of people in it for the first time in over a year.

I’m not sure what I’ll do when I see that server coming toward my table with a bowl of chips and salsa. 

But I know this much.

There will be weeping.

There will be celebrating.

It’s Mexican restaurant summer, after all.

Every year sometime in late July, we experience “just hush summer”. You will know it’s just hush summer when all anyone ever talks about is how hot it is, and you want to say, “just hush, you’re just making it worse.”

“Froot Loops fall” happens every election year.

You know it’s Froot Loops fall by all the election signs.

And during Froot Loop fall when we have a runoff, It’s like groundhog day — no one got 50% of the vote, so we get 6 more weeks of election ads.

It’s probably just me, but I’m convinced we experience this season more than we used to.

About a month ago, I saw signs in someone’s yard for the 2022 Tennessee governor race.

Good grief, man. Get your mind on something else. Get a hobby. Plant some flowers. Watch some old westerns.

Are you really going to weed-eat around those things for two summers?

I know when we get to just hush summer in a couple of months, I’ll long to be back in dogwood winter.

But right now, I just want to be warm.