Apparently, I Wasn’t Called Precocious as a Child

I have a strong tendency to get songs hung in my head.

My mental audio streaming service is always playing something up there, and each song typically spins all day if not longer.

The other day, it was “Bette Davis Eyes,” the Kim Carnes hit, which — if you’re ever on “Jeopardy” — won her a Grammy for Record of the Year in 1981.

It played for hours.

And I finally figured out why it was on the playlist.

That morning, I had been listening to a podcast. I don’t recall what it was even about, but the host kept using the word “precocious.”

Kim Carnes taught me that word, sort of. I say that because for the first several years I didn’t even really know what she was saying when she repeated it in the chorus.

After I saw the lyrics in print, I then knew what she was saying, but I still couldn’t define precocious.

I guess I just kind of figured it out based on the theme of the song.

You just think you’re embarrassed for me now. Just you wait.

This column was going to be a compilation of common misheard song lyrics. I was going to try and make it funny.

My best line was going to be that Neil Diamond wrote a song about his favorite youth pastor, Reverend Bluejeans.

Sorry, it was too good not to use.

But I now realize I have so many misheard words in “Bette Davis Eyes,” I don’t have room to even use any other songs.

I looked up the lyrics, and I was appalled at how many words and sometimes lines I still get wrong.

I must credit the writers, Donna Weiss and Jackie DeShannon, because they used some big words, including one I didn’t know. Incidentally, DeShannon also wrote and recorded “Put a Little Love in Your Heart” in 1969 — your next “Jeopardy” tidbit.

I don’t have room to point out all my mistakes. Here are the big ones, though.

The first line of the first chorus goes, “And she’ll tease you, she’ll unease you.”

I always thought she was saying “she’ll adhese you, as in she’ll stick to you like an adhesive.

Merriam-Webster doesn’t think it’s a word, but not to be defeated, I did find another source that says it is a Latin participle, “the vocative masculine singular of adhesus.”

My spell checker is groaning right now. I’ve got more red words than the four gospels combined.

Later in the chorus, we — or some of you at least — hear, “She’s got Greta Garbo’s standoff sighs.”

I always thought it was Greta Garbo’s standout size.

Since 1981, I had been thinking Greta was really tall. Turns out she was 5 feet and 7 inches.

The last one I’ll mention also comes from the choruses, “She’ll expose you, when she snows you, off your feet with the crumbs she throws you.”

I never had any idea what she was singing when she talks about throwing crumbs.

I guess I always just fa-la-la’d through that part.

In my defense, I don’t just go around humming this song on a regular basis. It was never a favorite of mine.

But anyway, I hope it doesn’t get stuck in your head because or this. If it does, you can always blame me.