My Luck Ran Out, but it Was Fun for a Day

For a few minutes yesterday, I thought I was going to be writing this from Maui or maybe one of those all-inclusive resorts in Jamaica.

I was coming into money with no end in sight.

I don’t like to admit it, but I play video games on my phone. I have a card game I’ve played for years. I do the New York Times mini crossword just about every day.

Anything else I always get tired of in three or four days.

I bought into the Wordle craze for about a week before realizing it really wasn’t all that much fun.

Three or four days ago, I saw an ad for a bingo game. It looked like it might be fun, so I got it.

I soon realized this was a game that paid cash to the winners. Of course, to qualify for that, you had to pay to play.

I wasn’t about to do that. I’m pretty sure that me essentially betting on a bingo game would part from this fool whatever money I invested in it.

But I found an option that let me play with the “gems” they gave me.

After a few games, I figured out a strategy to boost my score. Then, I deduced a couple more ways to score even higher.

I was finishing in the top three every time and coming in first at least half of the games.

After a couple of days, I somehow earned $2. Of course, to use it, I had to put in my contact information including my phone number and email address.

I decided it wasn’t worth $2 to start getting emails and texts from a bingo game.

Then I earned another dime.

One thin dime. Ten cents.

But somehow or another, that’s what set the hook in my jaw. 

And after telling them who I was and how to reach me 24 hours a day, I saw my $2.10 reflected on the screen.

I found a game I could play for $1 that would pay $2.50 to the winner.

I played. I won.

Then I played and won again.

I won first place eight out of the first nine games.

Now, we all know how this is about to turn out, so if you’re pressed for time, go ahead and skip to whatever it is you read next.

Each game lasts roughly 2 minutes. I figured if I played for an hour and profited $1.50 nearly every time, that would be around $40 an hour.

I was going to break these bozos playing bingo on my phone.

Then tragedy struck, or so I thought.

That particular game I was playing disappeared.

But I found another one where I would have to spend more, but I could win more.

Since I was invincible, I played it.

My success rate wasn’t as good as it was on the previous game, but I won more than I lost. And my profit margin was much greater.

At bedtime, my balance was $28.

The next day, I would bring them — whoever they are — to their knees.

I’m not quite sure how it happened, but my balance is now sixty cents, which should not surprise you.

Easy come, easy go, I guess. But for a day, bingo was my name-o.